Being positive takes effort

I write often about positive psychology and the very practical applications it offers to help people realise and understand how they can act differently if they wish to lead more 'happier' lives. Now, 'happier' is always a subjective term, and no-one can dictate to you, how happy you should be, this is a judgement you need to make for yourself. But, if you do wish to be happier, there are some very easy, very practical things you can go.

Before I launch into the different kinds of activity you should think about, let me stress this. This isn't a one trick pony. In order to achieve a more positive state of mind, or be happier, it takes concerted effort, and you need a strong support network. Be that friends, family, work colleagues, or professional help, someone needs to help you on this journey. Without a support network this will be a truly difficult task.

Additionally, extensive research has been carried out into the tangible effects of acting in the ways listed below. The research shows positive changes in a person's own sense of positivity over a period of time, how positive they are about others, and whether or not, the practices hold a lasting effect. I'll not cite the various pieces of research as I'm in a rush. But, and I will hold my name to this, I would not be suggesting the things below, if I didn't believe it.

I've written before about writing 3 good things at the end of the day. If you follow me on Twitter, you'll see I try to do this, and you'll also see how infrequently I do it. It's a very easy thing to do for a short while. As a continued effort though, it does take practice before you remember to do it regularly. In honesty, I think about my #3goodthings most nights, I just don't write it down. And that's the hey part, because you're articulating it rather than thinking it.

A gratitude visit is a very powerful way to raise your sense of positivity. This essentially entails you taking the time to visit one person and let them know why you're thankful they're part of your life. This doesn't have to be a regular weekly or monthly activity, but it does need to happen at least once or twice over a long period of time. What this helps to do is raise your confidence in being able to appreciate those in your life, and expressing it in a way which is meaningful to both you and the receiver.

Act in small ways which are unselfish. It doesn't take a lot to give someone the time of day, or to help answer a query. But in this busy world we fool ourselves into thinking that someone else will do it. Yes, maybe they will. But should that stop you from doing it too? No. There are few people I know who truly act without expectation of the same for them. And for that I will always hold them in high regard.

One of the most powerful ways to help you and others around you feel good, is by smiling. So much is associated with a genuine smile. This is pretty self-explanatory, but if you're not one for doing this, have a look at those around you who do, and consider how much of an impact they have on those around them.

And that's where I stop. Four things you can do to help raise your level of positivity and how you think about being happy.

3 Good Things

I'm a fan of positive psychology. It's a wonderful field of study that has produced a lot of interesting results in helping people identify specific activities they can do to elevate their mood and help themselves maintain a positive state of mind.

The work was pioneered by a psychologist by the name of Martin Seligman. I've listened to him talk and he's a wonderful person who is very warm and honest about the difficulties he has faced in his own life that have prompted his interest in this area. The work has mainly been accomplished and continues with people who suffer various modes of depression.

There are some very specific exercises that are encouraged which have generated marked improvements in general feelings of happiness. Seligman coined a term 'authentic happiness'. I'm going to focus on one in particular method. It's important to remember this is not a one trick pony. Nor is it the primary solution to relieving bad moods. It's one method which is easy to do.

At the end of the day you should take the time to reflect on the day and remember 3 good things that have happened to you that day. That's all you have to do. Write them down somewhere that you can keep a diary/log/blog. You'll find that initially the things you write tend to be things like 'the sun came out today', or 'had a good meal'. As you become more committed to it, you'll find you write other things such as 'helped a colleague solve a work problem' or 'had a good workout' or 'kept my anger in check today'. The important thing isn't how deep or profound the good thing is, just that it provides a focus for thinking about good events rather than hanging on bad things.

On Twitter I'll also start a twitter profile @3_GoodThings. Annoyingly @3GoodThings, @ThreeGoodThings and @3_Good_Things were all taken and none are being used well. If you like the idea of this, then please follow.

My intention here is to help people realise that being happy is always within our control, we just need to be conscious of how we do it.